I wanna…

May 11, 2009

…write.  do.  something.  create some music.  finish some lyrics.  read. sleep. run. walk. instead.  i’m sitting here. thinking. nothing. everything. i’m really going through with it. still a week out. and you’re already starting to trip, girl. living wills. durable power of attorney. insurance cards. anesthesia options. every # and address you have. yeah. the hospital’s called twice today.  pre-op registration. whateva. as much as i’d like to trivialize this thing. tell myself it’s really not that serious.  or better yet, high-tail it from reality. it’s starting to feel. serious. like the one who “hates” docs and hospitals and forms and needles and bed gowns. is really gonna go through with it. sigh. where’s my well? who moved the light switch? positivity. any minute now, faith. real substance. jump start. switch me. shift me. to perfect peace. a mind. focused. that sees only Creator God. a stare. frozen in time. melting away. the nagging angst………..

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5 Responses to “I wanna…”

  1. Kafo Says:

    breathe in and out
    i’m sorry at suck at this friend thing, i remember a post saying u had to have a procedure done i think but i don’t think u mentioned what is was……..

    what day is it
    so that i can fast and pray for u
    seriously
    send an email if need be

    i can’t even imagine the anxiety cuz yeah mii and hospitals have this hate relationship
    so i’ll spare u the platitudes and just pray

  2. Cynthia Says:

    Hey There!
    I will be praying for you. For you, to have any peace of mind – even if its for a little while. Also, I know we are blog friends but we aren’t that far from each other in real time – so if you ever need a helping hand from someone who is not in the ‘know’, let me know, I’m here. 🙂

  3. ashe.selah Says:

    @Kafo? suck? huh?
    You are a beautiful blog friend, girl…and I am honored to have you in my space for the purpose and time granted. Hope the feeling is mutual :)…e-mail soon.

    @Cynthia!
    OMGosh, it’s so good to hear from you. You’ve prob seen my little icon over at your spot lol, peeking in to check on ya. U good? We’ve gotta catch up girl. Thanks so much for being “here”…and for the gracious offer to be “there”. E-mail soon :).

  4. disgodkidd Says:

    Heavenly Father, i ask in Jesus name, that you grant ashe.selah the peace that passes understanding and the quiet assurance that you have tatooted her on your palm, and her walls are continually before you. so you will walk her through this without a scratch. just like you walked me through my ‘jericho-wall-dental-surgery’. Amen.

  5. ashe.selah Says:

    In Jesus’ name…amen :).

    Wow, D, that must have been a trip…so glad to know you survived it. Hope things are getting better…check on ya in a min bro!


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