Give In to What You Want

June 11, 2008

I’ve always been a fighter…when I felt threatened. Not a bully per se…but then again there was that time in 5th grade, when I tried to hang with bullies {crazy} and we cornered this other chic. I was actually just as scared as the girl (what if she told lol?). Just alot of being grown and fat-mouthing…knowing good and well if Sis. Beverly (Mama) would’ve heard about the incident, I wouldn’t have been able to sit for a month lol. But, I digress.

Aside from the physical, my Spirit fights. Protects. Resists being controlled. Resists being told “No you can’t.” But something’s happened over the past few years. The birth of new thoughts and choices. Lessons in acceptance. A gentle tug to come over to the other side. To the land of Non-Resistance. Who me? Where weak folk live…where the inhabitants don’t know how to make it happen (that is society’s mantra, right?).

So, check it…..

I’m still madly in luv with smoothies and my Magic Bullet. If you’ve seen the informercials on the Bullet, you know the cup sets come with twist on drinking lids in various colors. Well, as it would happen, my blue lid has been stuck on a cup for months, which pretty much makes it useless for the Bullet. It’s just a cup now.

One day, I was craving a smoothie before work, but forgot to turn on the dishwasher the night before. Didn’t feel like hand-washing a Bullet cup with dried-on strawberry seeds. A glance into the cup cabinet revealed only one clean Bullet cup available – the blue one. Immediately, my mind remembered the months of trying to untwist that daggone lid….using towels, placing it under hot water, straining with all my might to crack its grip. For some reason (called smoothie cravings), the “never say never” in me decided to try the lid one more time — this time from an unusual angle (for me).

I wrapped my fingers around that lid and tried something different — I tightened it even more! It wasn’t a conscious decision…I wasn’t thinking hard trying to crack a code or anything. Then, the counter-clockwise twist. Need I tell you what happened to that lid after soooo many months? It twisted right off! I started laughing to myself lol. Was that all I had to do….Give In?!!

As this scene played out, my Spirit took note. Do I carry patterns of always trying to MAKE, FORCE, MANIPULATE things to happen, rather than, through the Art of Non-Resistance….simply LET life and purpose take their course? Do I often fight in my own strength, when true strength lies in trusting that my Source, who is the Most High, has got everything under control in every area of my life….if I would just go sit down somewhere and be still lol? What about you?

I like the way William Frank Diedrich put it – “Nonresistance doesn’t mean pretending you don’t care about the results. Nonresistance means not attaching your well-being to results.”

In some areas of my life, this had been my M.O. …the world was over if this or that didn’t happen…and I was willing to fight for what I wanted, even if it meant losing me. But a shift in Power is taking place. Power that I passed out freely to others?…yeah, the pilgrimage has begun! And like myself, Power is finding its way back home :)! Ashe.Selah


9 Responses to “Give In to What You Want”

  1. cynthia Says:

    Very true. Often when we fight the hardest, the harder things become.

    I am a fighter through and through and I have to learn to just step back and let things figure themselves NOT being passive but loosening up those grips of control.

    It’s so very hard, though!

  2. Great post. Lady, you were talking to ME on this one. This is something I definitely have to work on.

  3. ashe.selah Says:

    @Cynthia: Funny, I never realized that until lately…but you’re on it. When we force and push on life, it DOES resist…push back. Guess we’re both learning to loosen the grip…one strong finger at a time :)!

    @Voice: Not to sound like a cliche’ *smile*, but being able to admit “yeah, that’s me” was a huge step in beginning the process to change my resisting patterns. It’s interesting how, the way to “work” on this thing…is to simply rest and trust. Who knew resting would be such hard work at times :)…

  4. Bluestocking Says:

    This has been a constant struggle for me though through Gods grace I have gotten better. I always wanted things fixed on the spot. And it caused me no end of anxiety when I could fix things. This poem helped me.

    God give me strength to change the things that I can, grace to accept the things that I can’t, and wisdom to know the difference.

  5. ashe.selah Says:

    Hey there Bluestocking! Welcome and thx 4 passing thru :).

    There are a ton of us out here in our boats, learning how to stop paddling so daggone hard, and just FLOAT! We’ll drift where we’re purposed to be….(even the winds obey His voice, right?).

    Truth is, I’m tired lol, and refuse to let stress and anxiety wreck my peace and my health anymore. I’m welcoming a new life that embraces the prayer you shared. Ashe.Selah

  6. Cynthia Says:

    Thank You for your kind words!
    I actually still edited my graphic-ness. I’m a pretty visual gal –so, sometimes I can take it to the extreme!

    It’s something I have to admit I’m wrestling with. I sent off my food diary to my trainer today and I’m bringing one with me IN CASE she doesn’t look at her email before I run into her.

    Time to stop making excuses for my bad behavior, the past is the past…have to stay in the present, ya dig?!

    I have to admit I love your verbal dexterity…it cheers me up everytime I read something you write! 🙂 Thank YOU!


  7. ashe.selah Says:

    Ha! Go on with yo thorough self…U doin it :)!

    Folks (esp. hubby) say the same thing about me…I guess it’s the vivid imagination that takes me off the deep end more often than not.

    Grateful for the love chic…that makes me cheese lol…now, if I can only get my REAL verbal to flow as I come out and play with others…it’s coming, woo hoo!

    ……back to your breathing post…what?!…let it go, and do what?!….figuring that last part out man lol

  8. amzolt Says:

    What you’ve written is a beautiful description of what I think of as Submission to God’s Will.

    It’s too bad that most folks get all hung up on a particular mold they pour their mind into instead of just letting their mind flow under the impulse of Tao–God–Higher Power–You-Name-It { oops, it really can’t ultimately be named… }

    ~ Alex

  9. ashe.selah Says:

    Yes, I’m shedding the hang ups, and growing through knowledge and experience in Submission to the Will of God….

    …who I call The Most High, the Great I AM, Jehovah, the “Us” who created humanity in His image, the ultimate unconditional Lover who sooooo loved the world that He gave His Son Jesus…. Just a few names I call God, blessings *smile*!

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