Happy Anniversary to Us!

April 29, 2008

Wow! What….a….YEAR!!! They say a wedding anniversary is a celebration of Love, trust, partnership, tolerance, and tenacity. How true. Even more true to life?…the order of those ideals varies for any given year.

Today is the big one four (14)! Woo hoo! We’ve had some real ‘special’ times this past year {like how I said that? lol}. I guess being bombarded with both external life forces (economics, caregiving, death, job drama) and internal life forces (issues that have nothing to do with the other, but affect the other)…let’s just say that we are graced right now to be making it through — LIFE!

Have you seen the flies laying around lately? Unfortunately, we have too. Marriages dropping all around us…like golfball-sized hail breaking into a million pieces upon impact. The spiritual attack on marriage and families is super intense right now. I’m talkin’ the hair on our arms is singed. What is going on, and what in the world can we do?

Well, here’s my perspective. First, with the exception of severe cases (spousal abuse, infidelity, neglect, etc.) — It takes two to MAKE a marriage, and it takes two to BREAK a marriage {ouch}. Said another way, “It takes two to make a thing go right…it takes two to make it outta sight!” {Rob Bass was on it, huh?}

As horrible as a divorcee may describe their ex, it’s very hard to escape divorce squeaky clean, “I did everything right, it was all their fault”. So what’s the only recommendation I can make to myself and others right now…?

Work out your OWN salvationWITH fear and trembling (Phil 2:12)! Whatcha mean?

A marriage is a union of two imperfect people, both fully embodying the notion of ‘human’. Even though the two operate in the oneness of marriage, there yet remains a responsibility to self: Grow, Learn, BE the best YOU you can be. And as a follower of Christ? — Do so in respect of God’s will and plans for you.

I’m telling ya….if we spend as much time on ourselves as we spend trying to ‘fix/change’ our spouses….if we would ask God how we’re doing in life as an individual, listen to His answer, and follow His steps for improving…Do you think it would have the slightest impact on the divorce rate?

Case in point…I’ll bust me out. Not long ago, I kept questioning myself, hubby, God…”where in the world is all our money going?!” See, first of all, you never ask God a question you really don’t want him to answer lol. He answered anyway. “YOU ARE where is all our money going (uh oh). You have a pattern in spending that lacks DISCIPLINE. And though I’ve given you much, you cannot and will not be a good steward over the blessing without self-control.” {yikes!}

Now, if I work on my own ‘salvation’ from a lack of spending discipline, wouldn’t the benefits seep over into other areas of my marriage? Aren’t there other areas in life that would benefit from a good dose of discipline? What are some self-improvements (totally unrelated to your spouse) that you could work on, and you both reap the benefits?

Here’s my personal focus. If I’m pleasing God with my life…I’ll be pleasing to God as hubby’s wife. I think if we both adopt this focus, the TWO of us will contribute to MAKING our marriage outta sight! Ashe.Selah

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7 Responses to “Happy Anniversary to Us!”

  1. MrsGrapevine Says:

    My husband and I have been married four and a half years, and we have seem some fall in that short time. I congratulate you and your spouse, I know the dedication it takes to see 14. Here’s too many more!

  2. Jennifer Says:

    Happy anniversary (belated)!

    I keep on coming back to read your posts, so well-written and multi-layered.

  3. ashe.selah Says:

    @MrsGrapevine: Thx so much lady! I think the longer u walk down the road (not aisle) of marriage, the more u realize the work and commitment it takes to survive the speed bumps lol. And those flowers we see growing on the side of the road are usually not ‘wild’ ones….they took time, attention, lotsa Love…U and hubby stay strong, and keep loving, understanding, and ‘feeling’ each other…empathy rules :)!

    @Jennifer: Thanks a bunch Jennifer! This newbie writer is a fan of YOURS, so that compliment means alot. Plus, oddly enough, we write for very similar reasons….be seeing u around, take care :)!

  4. Faraja Says:

    Happy (now also belated) Anniversary! May you and your husband continue to grow closer and deeper in your intimacy and committment to one another and to God year after year.

    And how nice to meet another blogger sharing an April wedding. I noticed quite a few of the bloggers I read were married in April – we celebrated 7yrs on the 21st…great month! 😉

  5. disgodkidd Says:

    guess whos back! i missed you guys. happy anniversary!

  6. Jaycee Says:

    Awww…happy anniversary. Cheers to many more years….

  7. ashe.selah Says:

    @Faraja: Thank u dear, and happy belated to u 2! There’s just something about that spring LOVE LOL!

    @D: Dude! Ya back?! So good to hear..thank u for the well wishes!

    @Jaycee: Hey girlie…thank u and cheers!


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