R.I.P. Daddy

January 18, 2008

daddys_lap.jpgHe finished his course today…God’s decision was perfect and final…will be back to say more to myself later *smile*. For now, it is well! Ashe.Selah

1/22: OK. I never saw the memo. Or read the fax for that matter. Never had to. It should come as no surprise, tho, but it did. It’s a heck of a lotta work to plan a funeral! It really takes cloning yourself to get everything done…Whew! For the past few days, my second brain has been Mom. I gave her the title “sekki-tary” (secretary…for the challenged lol). She’s been step for step with me, pen and paper in tow, jotting…thinking of all the things I need to do, ask, say, don’t say, don’t do…so grateful.

Let’s see, how am I right now…….err…ummm…arra…Nope! No words yet. None sufficient to describe the depth and breadth of emotion….next!

I’ve been thinking alot about the chronology of things…the past 6 mos?….let’s see:
Aug. – Dad relos to L.A.
Sep. – Dad starts feeling ill…alot of falling
Oct. – He’s diagnosed with brain cancer
Nov. – We relo him back to ATL to care for him
Dec. – Speedy decline, on the front line of caregiving
Jan. – We lay him to rest

Wow…right now, it seems like everything happened so fast. Where’d the time go, ya know? But in actuality, if I look at the weeks and days and hours….it’s been such a long, hard road…for Dad first and foremost…but one graced with the favor of God nonetheless.

I remember thinking back in August, “Is this the last time I’ll see Daddy?” Guess the answer to that question was “No”. But I never saw him coming back with cancer, and I would have never picked this start for ’08. I know, who would right?

Hmm..then again, yeah, I did. The sweetness of rest compared to the way he suffered..the way we had to watch and couldn’t make it better, couldn’t make it stop… Come to think of it — Heck yeah!…this was the BEST start to ’08 that I never dreamed. What a gift…his rest…without agitation, fighting, never had a seizure…just simply took…his…last…breath, and went to sleep. A beautiful peace.

OK…all for now..next surge of energy, let’s talk family folks…lordy!


17 Responses to “R.I.P. Daddy”

  1. muisto Says:

    Oh I am so sorry! Lots of strength now for all of you. And may God’s comfort be just around you!
    “When light is gone, grief settles in. When grief leaves again, you’ll have the memory of light.”

  2. ashe.selah Says:

    Thank you sooo much Helen…for lighting up my space with your words…

  3. disgodkidd Says:

    may the Comforter comfort you all – He alone fully understands.

  4. disgodkidd Says:

    how are you doing?

  5. disgodkidd Says:

    i wanted to ask “and you can still write?” but i remember some of my best writings were done when i lost daddy and taught i would loose mom too. all things work together for good but…((((((((((((((((ashe.selah))))))))))))))))))) all the same. i know sometimes truth is not enough.

  6. garry b Says:

    Hello Ashe.
    I have mixed feelings about it all.On one hand you want them
    to be here with you and on the other hand;it’s hard watching them
    fade away right before your eyes.However,thank God that he knows
    when to call them home!Be strong and of good cheer,for God is
    Always near – garry b

  7. ashe.selah Says:

    Beautiful reminder, Garry…thank u 🙂

  8. Faraja Says:

    My condolences for your loss Ashe.Selah…I know I saw this post quite some time after it all happened, but I hope that you are still resting in the comfort and strength of Jesus.

    Thoughts & Prayers from Australia!!

    – Faraja

  9. ashe.selah Says:

    Bless u Faraja!…hasn’t been 2 wks yet, and it already feels like an eternity without him. So grateful for your thoughts and prayers girl…peace and love.

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