Charity Begins

November 4, 2007

For me?….at the source of my deepest cuts and abrasions. With family. It’s starting to make sense why God has me where I am…and why the miracles that brought me here were so strategically designed. Two years of preparation, discovery, revelation, recovery…..ahhhh! To be a mouthpiece for Love and Forgiveness…Wow! He wasn’t playing. It does cost everything. Everything I don’t need and learning to go.

To say the past 2 weeks have been dramatically hectic is an understatement. By the time I finished lighting fires under folks in Cali — doctors (who avoid doing actual work like HIV, and could care less when you say I need this benefit form filled out ASAP), nurses (who don’t seem to understand when I say bathe Daddy everyday…I mean it!!!)…then here in the A…trying to find Daddy an apartment, visiting nurses, etc…..let’s just say there were times I really didn’t know if I was coming or going. And it’s not like the nightmares helped in the rest department either.

But, with all of the drama and issues….can I tell ya? God is still faithful!! I’m talking in the 11th hour (imagine an ill parent’s discharge date approaching…and s/he has no where to go yet!), God blessed Dad with a place to stay, hospice approval for nurses, medical equipment & supplies…stuff I have no experience with or even knew where to start looking for help. Daddy will be out of that hospital facility and back home in a week. Am I nervous…you betcha! But as a dear mother-friend of mine told me, “You will KNOW, as you GO”.

I just hope I won’t have to ‘go’ alone. Will fam step up to the plate with me…be open to sacrifice and compromise for Dad…or will they leave me hanging..”you got it girl…you’re doing a fine job.” Or…”I can’t spare an hour at the airport to help pickup Daddy…it’s my anniversary.” Lawd, is it starting already! It’s my birthday weekend next week…you don’t see me making excuses. (Had to get that vent out.)

Part of me wants to be open-minded, patient…everyone doesn’t respond to a dying parent the same way. Huh? The other part of me wants to put my foot in unnatural places LOL! Kick some sense into a sibling.

Oh well. I’ve gotta remember that I’m chosen to Love. And charity does begin at home. But, guess what?…home is not ‘Source’. And what others can’t or won’t do — is not my problem. I can only be responsible for Me and my choices. The rest will be filled in for us somehow. He didn’t promise this would be an easy journey, but He did promise that everything I need to see it through to the end — is already in me. I just have to LET it be. LET. One of the most powerful, 3-letter words I love!


3 Responses to “Charity Begins”

  1. disgodkidd Says:

    hmm…all i can say is i commend you to the Word of His Grace. Be strong, sister.

  2. refinedone Says:

    I wonder? is it possible to love one that you have never met, never talked to …but have come to know by her words…

    Sis’ I love you… I am sorry I can not aticulate my reason for saying this now and here…i guess in btw the lines of this post I saw sometime and heard sometime that i can not put in words …. so I say… you are so loved đŸ™‚

    …be strong…keep doing…it’s going to get even harder, but you are able,cos I know WHOS you are…

  3. asheselah Says:

    @D: Holdin on tight man…you learn how to appreciate the lulls in the storm…windless days of quiet……..

    @Ro: Girl, you have been nothing but a treasured addition to my (e)life. I was reading your comment…by the time I got to the LOVE, I was hollerin ahhhh! (I’m loud and crazy like that sometimes hee hee).

    Thank you so much for being who you are, and I thank God for this purposed connection…Love you too Ro…it’s possible =)!

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