Days Like This and That

October 19, 2007

Do your very best…take time out, ladies and gents — for prayer and meditation. You never know how it will prepare you for the unknowns in a given day.

I woke up yesterday, and MADE time (yeah, I was sleepy) for prayer and meditation — early. I lit my candle and shut out the world…connecting with my spirit…releasing tense energies…communing with God. I spoke positive truths to my innerself…I earnestly prayed for others…for some I hadn’t done so like that in a good while. I really miss some folks and pray God’s peace and favor in their lives.

Honestly, I had such a beautiful time with ‘us’, I expected a day of sunshine… skipping through tulips lol…carefree giggles…you get my drift. By mid-morning, I would realize that what I was really preparing for, was a day of great emotion. An opportunity to learn how to embrace what I was feeling…another day of reliance on my Most High burden bearer.

Ever been in a situation where…an answered prayer was gonna cost ya? Sure, it was an earnest prayer…a manifestation you truly desired, but you knew there were consequences? I think the last thing anybody wants for an ill loved one, especially a parent, is to see them suffer. Well, as of yesterday, Daddy has decided not to undergo any treatments whatsoever. Radiation and chemo were sure to deplete his his strength, mental capacity, and health even more. This was a decision HE had to come to…a decision I prayed He would choose. BUT, doggone it…this decision feels like I turned the other cheek, and reality took another swipe at my face.

We’re all at the crossroad now where we have nothing but God’s divine will and provision…which is pretty scary to my human nature…can I be real?! Little me wishes Daddy could live forever. Big girl me is grateful for his life and wants nothing but joy for him during this transition. Boy did I rain on the inside most of the day. Even lost it at the VA office, checking on Daddy’s benefits…had the rep running up stairs for a box of Kleenex lol…(I guess I can kinda chuckle about that now…that’s just me getting used to my new vulnerable and tender self lol!!)

Well, I’m still here…Every second, minute, hour, day is a blessing. And the more time I invest in prayer and meditation, the more my spirit will outgrow my frail humanity…the more in-tune I will be to the goodness that escapes the human eye. Mama said there’d be days like this and that…but God said He’ll never leave us, and before we even know how to ask for what we need….It is already provided. Ashe.Selah


10 Responses to “Days Like This and That”

  1. disgodkidd Says:

    i wanted to say something, but there were no words, so i just prayed for you.

  2. asheselah Says:

    Thank you, D…for giving me the best =)!

  3. Jaycee Says:

    *Sigh* Yes, He will never leave you…

    No matter how tough it is…

    Oh Lord…it’s not easy…speechless!

  4. asheselah Says:

    Thanks for leaving sum Love Jaycee…preciate ur thoughts =)!

  5. refinedone Says:

    …just read this Sister-friend.
    It is well with you and your family-you know this is another level in the process-He has seen you through others and will surely be there for this.

    You are loved and blessed!

  6. asheselah Says:

    Ro…ur speaking truth dear sis. He has been with me through alot..and has no intentions of aborting His plans for me now. Thank you for the Love, girl =)!

  7. Helen Says:

    It is amazing how God calls us and prepares us if something like this is coming up. I was so sorry reading this, since I was in this situation about 2 years ago.
    Praying that you and your Dad’ll receive the comfort and strength that God provided to me and my Mom.

  8. asheselah Says:

    Your prayers and kindness are priceless, Helen. U r a beacon of strength…as I will be also when this particular journey runs it’s course. That is my desire. Blessings to you =)!

  9. […] see: Aug. – Dad relos to L.A. Sep. – Dad starts feeling ill…alot of falling Oct. – He’s diagnosed with brain cancer Nov. – We relo him back to ATL to care for him Dec. – Speedy decline, on the front line of […]

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