I Have No Man

September 18, 2007

Time doesn’t mind either way…what we chose. We can choose to roll with the days, weeks, years of life…or lie in wait as the years, weeks, and days pass us by. Us…and our reasons why. Us…and every excuse, real or imagined, to keep purpose on pause. Time has her orders, “Keep an eye on them, and simply accommodate what they create.” Our wish is Time’s command.

There are a few places within me that are suffocating. It’s pretty hard to inhale grains of sand. I’ve sat next to the man at the pool to duet, saying, “I have no man…” There have been deep voids within me that have cried out “I have no (hu)man.” Person(s) in whom different fulfillments in life depended on. I would have this if they…I could have that if they. I wouldn’t have this if they.

Meanwhile, Time gives me all the time I want to stay right here. Gazing at the horizon, that line between Earth and sky, where never my eyes shall see the obscure black dot grow, as it walks briskly towards me.

Wake up, girl!!  So done with that lol. My eyes need a change…(like to those hills where my Help lives?). Totally bored with unfulfillment. Aiming at rocks, thinking I’ll shoot a star. How bizarre of me to crave less than the very best. Dress up mediocre with a great big tada! It’s still, well, mediocre… compared to the best Alternative who’s waited a lifetime to be promoted from close second to numero Uno!

[Cleansing sigh] So, I have no (hu)man. My happieness and joy does not depend on (hu)man. I lack nothing with or without (hu)man. My complete wholeness and fulfillment in life is not defined by (hu)man.

The new (wo)man I am becoming has Creator!…and creative power to be a better, beautiful human. Ashe.Selah


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