No, Don’t Come

August 10, 2007

“…it’s too emotional. I’ve been cuttin up already.”

That was Daddy’s initial response. I called to see what time he’d be available today. At first I was offended lol. Then, I thought about it…would save me some emotion, too. Then, I almost regretted talking him into being OK with us coming over. Man, I was home free from the pressure and emotions. The snotting and crying lol. I’ll probably do neither. Then, he remembered he has some insurance stuff for me to pickup. I dunno what I’m feeling right now on this merry-go-round…..

I’ve never really had that gift. The gift of good-bye…being alright saying good-bye. Daddy’s relocating back to Cali for good. He loves Cali, but he doesn’t want to go, but circumstances have both driven him back and welcomed him back. We were unable to find him housing here in GA, and opportunities started opening up left and right in Cali just when he needed it to. Guess that’s whatcha do. Go where doors are opening. But still, it’s wrecking the heck outta me to see him go.

Daddy is 75 now, and I can’t help but think is this the last time I’ll see him as him…know whatta mean? Sure, I plan to fly out there and visit, this really doesn’t have to be the final good-bye, but it’s different from knowing he’s just up the road. I handle all of his medical and financial affairs…social security, medicare, veteran’s stuff….We’ll just have to work through all of that long-distance now. It’s not impossible. Just different.

God please help my tummy and emotions feel better…it’ll be OK in time, girl….hang in there through the weekend.


6 Responses to “No, Don’t Come”

  1. disgodkidd Says:

    i don’t do goodbyes too well, either. Maybe you should stick around longer, now that he’ still around?

  2. Jaycee Says:

    It’s well. You’ll find strength somehow. And knowing its not the final goodbye really helps…at least u can always visit anytime u want to see him…


  3. asheselah Says:

    @D: As with anything….with practice, it’ll get easier for both of us.

    @Jaycee: Hey girl…thank u so much for the encouragement. He AND I made it through last night lol. I love to travel, so no, it’s not final. Love your blog…keep sharing your golden nuggets of wisdom with us.

  4. […] never saw it coming. No one in the family did. We made it through our ‘til next time soon‘ farewell. Only, next time came quicker than we thought, and brought with it elements that […]

  5. […] 10, 2007 Well, in the course of 3 months, we’ve gone from til next time to welcome back. Daddy is back in the and sound. Hmm…sound. It’s totally […]

  6. […] thinking alot about the chronology of things…the past 6 mos?….let’s see: Aug. – Dad relos to L.A. Sep. – Dad starts feeling ill…alot of falling Oct. – He’s diagnosed with brain cancer […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s