Drivin’ Miss Ashe.Selah

June 3, 2007

detour_aheadFor months, I’ve been taken out of my comfort zone. If I thought things were going left, they went right. Up?…they went down, and east lol. The “art” of hands-off…mind off.. non-resistance…total surrender …have all been part of my growth in ’07 thus far. Yes, I was a control freak..and still shedding somma that stuff. Part of my life’s unspoken, old covenant…You control..don’t be controlled…ever… again. But when that includes God and His desires for my life, His plans — “Houston, we have a problem.”

Remember how I said Chapter 1 flowed like milk & honey…done…what’s next? And what’s next was nothing but pieces of a puzzle? Turns out, that was a fabulous strategy God had, being that I’d have to re-write, or re-work the direction I previously thought was “it.”

Boy, I’m glad (now) that I had not written any more sequential chapters since February. God has pulled an ERRRK on me, and changed the direction of the book from non-fiction to fiction, laid out the situational blend from which the story evolves — all while preserving the truth and heart of the matter — what I want the reader to walk away with. This new direction gives me even more freedom to unearth some golden nuggets that I (with my smart, controlling self) had not even thought about.

The whole fiction vs. non-fiction thing was starting to wear on me so heavy. Word got out in family circles about the book, and let’s just say…too much outside interference. “Well, what’s my name gonna be?…You not putting that in the book are you?…Pretend that never happened (my fave)…. Are you really ready to tell that?…What will XYZ think if they found out…?…Won’t that embarass the family?…. (God, how can I share my life, my testimony in truth, without offending others….without disrespecting other’s privacy…Man, this “balance” is like walking a tight rope in stilettos…)

Some days….AHHH!!!! Everybody shut up and let me hear my Spirit! God please drown out all these voices…good grief. Writing…this book…all a part of my healing. Sister didn’t need any added stress, being that I’m already in unchartered territory…in my Faith raft (I hope to upgrade to a boat soon). I think because “they” wanted it to be fiction, I rejected the idea immediately…refused to see how truth could be preserved if “I” didn’t tell the story, but my “character” did. Now, I’m excited about this change…don’t know how to pull it off yet, but I’m wide open to His direction…Father, will You teach me how to write what You’ve shown me?

My seatbelt is off…I’m scooting over now…taking that last toe off the brakes. I’m out of the driver’s seat…riding shotgun…or maybe I’ll crawl in the back seat to rest. Learn how to be a humble passenger on this of many life detours. Ashe.Selah

One Response to “Drivin’ Miss Ashe.Selah”

  1. […] away and break a sec.  I think this particular “hard part” is almost over, though.  Remember, I’ve shifted the book to fiction, so I had to lay the groundwork of character development, […]

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